Catching myself thinking

I bought a new book recently. I’d done my homework — read an online summary, grasped the big idea (which was genuinely helpful), and had two friends I trust recommend it. I was ready to learn, expectant.

A few pages into chapter one, I encountered a foundational concept I disagreed with.

I could feel the internal shift almost instantly. My posture changed. Curiosity turned into scepticism. The internal monologue moved from “that’s insightful …” to “that’s not right.” It’s like a switch flips — from open to closed, from learning to judging.

Underneath that is known patterns. When we encounter an idea that opposes what we already believe, the brain can register it as a kind of threat. The amygdala fires, and we move into a defensive posture. Rather than exploring, we start protecting.

That’s confirmation bias doing its thing — quietly shifting the goal from learning to being right.

We are wired to see the ideas we already agree with as sound, and the ones we disagree with as dangerous. Our brain then looks for evidence that aligns with our prior views, and rewards us with a dopamine hit for for being so wise or rightly cautious.   

The problem being I know there’s more in this book. I’ve already seen enough to know it’s worth engaging. But I’m no longer in a posture to receive it. So what to do?

It's helpful to slow the moment down, stay curious, and deliberately ask more questions before landing on a judgment:

• What is the other party trying to do here?

• Is there something true in this, even if I disagree with other parts?

• Is there a tension to manage, a false dichotomy to avoid?

Questions reopen what judgment shuts down. There’s a proverb that feels uncomfortably direct:

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but the wise listen to advice.” (Proverbs 12:15)

Wisdom listens — not because it agrees with everything, but because it knows it doesn’t see everything.

Jesus seems to operate like this. He encounters people with tribal narratives and fixed convictions about what is broken and how to fix it. He constantly asks questions. Not because he’s unsure, but because questions keep people engaged, open, searching.

The challenge isn’t just finding good ideas. It’s resisting the quiet moment where we decide we already know better and are not open to listening.