Part II: Virtual, parasocial, and the temptation facing the church

Last week I wrote about how words reveal the assumptions and patterns shaping our cultural moment. When a word becomes necessary, it usually means something in our shared life has shifted.

Two such words that have quietly settled into everyday use are virtual and parasocial.

At first glance, they seem neutral, even helpful. Virtual meetings keep us connected across distance. Parasocial relationships help explain how people feel connected to public figures, creators, or online personalities they have never met. Yet these words disclose something deeper: presence and relationship are increasingly mediated rather than shared.

This is not just a cultural issue “out there.” It is a live question inside the church.

A church can become virtual not simply by livestreaming services, but by subtly redefining belonging. When participation is reduced to watching, when connection is measured by content consumed rather than lives shared, when formation is assumed to happen without proximity, interaction, or mutual obligation, the church begins to drift from embodied community toward virtual association.

Likewise, churches can slip into parasocial patterns. A congregation can feel deeply connected to leaders they rarely speak to, shaped by teaching without being personally seen or challenged. The relationship feels real — and in some ways it is — but it lacks reciprocity. One side is known; the other remains largely anonymous.

The deeper danger here is disembodiment. God’s word in Scripture is living and active within a community that shares life: gathering, eating, forgiving, bearing burdens, and being accountable to one another. Faith is not only heard; it is practised together. Love is not only proclaimed; it is enacted over time — often inconveniently.

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together” (Hebrews 10:24–25). “Each of you has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation” (1 Corinthians 14:26). “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).

Even Paul’s letters — written at a distance — are addressed to churches he has visited, prayed for, and loved. You can hear the warmth and personal concern woven through his words.

The outworking of these Scriptures requires presence. Virtual connection is better than no connection, but it cannot replace the slow, demanding work of embodied fellowship. Parasocial warmth cannot do the work of pastoral care. Biblical truth does its deepest work in communion, not consumption.

In an age increasingly shaped by virtual presence, the church is called to remain a people who are known, present, and formed together in Christ.